Stop Waiting for Approval: Write Your Own Permission Slip
Giving Yourself the Green Light
What do you need to give yourself permission to do?
It’s a question I return to again and again — in conversations as a coach, on stage as a speaker, and behind the mic as a podcaster. And I hear a consistent theme: we are not giving ourselves permission. Not to feel. Not to be. Not to try. Not to step forward before everything is “perfect.”
We’re hooked on the “shoulds.” How we should act, what things should look like, who we should be. And beneath all those shoulds? A belief that once we finally check off enough boxes, then we’ll be okay. Then we’ll belong. We’ll be enough.
It’s a cycle rooted in scarcity. It’s exhausting. And it’s everywhere. I know from personal experience, having wrestled with the soundtrack in my head more times than I’d like to admit.
Comparison sets in, blurring our perspective even more. We look around at others and ask, How do I measure up? Especially in the professional world, we model ourselves after colleagues, leaders, people we admire. That’s human. But what’s not helpful is erasing ourselves in the process.
We internalize these expectations and beat ourselves up. We feel isolated, misunderstood, less than. We tell ourselves stories about who we’re not, instead of seeing who we already are — and what we’re actually capable of.
But here’s the shift: being “enough” has to start with you.
Because if you can’t see your own worth, how will anyone else? And how can you show up fully if you’re constantly measuring yourself against an impossible, external standard?
This isn't about perfection. It's about permission. Permission to be imperfect. To be evolving. To be okay and to want more.
The Power of Internal Permission
We often wait for someone else to give us permission. To take a step, to change direction, to rest, to speak up, to ask for more. But what if that permission could come from within?
To interrupt the cycle, start by asking yourself:
What am I waiting for permission to do?
Who am I waiting on to tell me it’s okay?
What am I tolerating that I no longer want to?
It’s not always about doing more. Sometimes it’s about doing differently. Sometimes it’s about doing less, but with more intention.
Next, harness your intentions by writing yourself a permission slip – just like when you were in school, and your mom/dad/guardian signed a form allowing you to go on a field trip. In Dare to Lead, Brené Brown describes permission slips as: “a practical and familiar way to think about what might get in the way of us talking about how we feel, asking for what we need, or trying something new.”
It’s not a promissory note – this practice increases accountability, self-compassion, and allows you to give yourself permission to think, say, and do what you need (and want) to.
“I give myself permission to _______”
Taking inventory matters. Paying attention to the stories you’re weaving in your brain, challenging your own thinking, and discerning what you’re ready to let go of.
Because this is your life. And how you show up in it – for your family, colleagues, community, and yourself - that’s your power. When you loosen your grip on the need to know how everything is going to turn out, you’re able to operate from a place that’s more grounded. You’re aligning your actions with your values. You stop overthinking and start acting on what’s best for you.
So, I’ll ask again:
Where do you need to give yourself permission right now?
To be more. To be less. To be different.
To be enough.
You are your best tool. And you are already capable of more than you know.
📣 I’d Love to Hear From You: Have tips or other techniques you’d add? Share in comments below.
Find more information about me and Weller Collaboration at wellercollaboration.com
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