Experimentation and Closure
On the enduring power of friendships we choose — and tend
For my final post of 2025, I’m reflecting on what endures — and the combination of intention and courage it takes to nurture it.
Intentional Friendships as Practice
Much of life is lived as an experiment — testing how we show up, who we hold close, and what we choose to tend to when outcomes are unclear. Uncertainty feels especially present right now. When the waters feel uncharted, I’m steadied by relationships: with my husband, my family, and the friends who remain alongside me.
I was recently listening to a recent episode of Simon Sinek’s podcast A Bit of Optimism, where author Fredrik Backman reminds us that enduring friendships are rarely accidental. His decades-long bond with a close friend is sustained not by constant harmony, but by conscious, repeated choice: to show up, to adapt, and to allow each other to grow. They talk often. They vent. They celebrate. They allow change without interpreting it as betrayal.
Intentional friendships are practice in patience, honesty, and repair. They ask: Can I be known fully? Can I hold you as you change? Can we stay connected even when we disappoint one another? Over time, these repeated acts of care create permanence — not permanence of circumstance, but of commitment, trust, and presence.
Experimentation, Clarity, and Closure
Because lasting friendships are alive, they change and require adjustment. Growth brings new information, and with it, the need for closure — not as separation, but as discernment. Through experimentation — testing patience, setting boundaries, speaking truths — we learn what sustains connection and what quietly undermines it. Closure preserves what matters by letting go of what no longer fits.
I touch on ideas of clarity and closure in the recent season finale of The Courage Effect. Reflecting on 2025, I ask 2 questions:
What am I tolerating that I no longer want?
What am I waiting for permission to do?
These questions invite self-compassion, honesty, and permission over perfection — a reminder that relationships thrive when we act with care, clarity, and intentionality.
Closure is not always a conversation or a goodbye. Often it’s the moment we stop rehearsing an old role, stop tolerating a familiar discomfort, stop hoping something will return to what it once was. It honors what mattered while making room for what comes next.
Courage in Choosing What Endures
Permanence in friendship is an act of courage. Courage is not the spark that starts the experiment; it is the steady choice to honor what matters, to remain present where it counts, and to release what no longer gels — without erasing the value of what was shared. Intentional friendships give us continuity through change and show that human connection can endure when nurtured with honesty, care, and mutual respect.
2025 was a challenging year (for me personally, and for so many people in my immediate and extended universe). As it comes to a close, I’m sitting in deep gratitude for the people who have offered me support, perspective, partnership, and laughter — especially through the various (and many!) moments when I truly needed them. These relationships have steadied me, stretched me, and reminded me of who I am when things feel uncertain. To my amazing friends reading this: thank you. Sending a virtual hug to each of you 🤗
I also find myself reflecting on how I’ve shown up in return — as a friend, a family member, a partner, or a coach — and where I’ve been present, generous, and still learning.
Looking ahead to 2026, I’m anchoring on continued discernment. Making a deliberate commitment to tending these connections with care. Being attentive to what needs to be held close, what might be ready to hold onto less tightly, or potentially let go.
With appreciation for the friendships that endure, and hope for the growth still ahead, I wish you all peace, joy, and abundance in the new year.
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So true! It’s funny how we tend to look at other relationships as needing tending to, but then just assume and sometimes ignore those with our friends. As I get older and wiser I’m learning how important it is to show up intentionally and cultivate those relationships that are meaningful to me. Always perfect? Not a chance. A practice? Absolutely!
Yes, Bridget! There is this expectation that everyone will be there, but as we can sadly learn that isn't always the case. I love the idea of tending to friendships, and repotting them if that's needed and makes sense. Been so gratifying for me to reflect on how many wonderful friends I have and I am so glad the Substack universe introduced us earlier this year! Happy holidays!